A phone call, monitors, over stimulating, an emergency, love and making it home as a family. My induction.
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Let’s start from the beginning.
Saturday 30th June, one day until induction. I woke up extremely excited, I double checked my hospital bag and re-packed it. (For maybe the 10th time!) As the evening drew closer my excitement turned to nerves. (I knew I would have to get you out eventually but the thought truly scared me.) I decided to run a bath to try and relax.
I lay with my hands on my tummy talking to you. I told you that you were going to be raised with more love than you could ever want for. That we had been waiting to meet you and very soon it would be happening.
That night I couldn’t sleep, I was worrying about my sugars, preying I could do it and that you were going to be ok. I tossed and turned until the sun came up.
Sunday 1st July. Induction day!
I rang the maternity unit at 8 in the morning to see what time we could go in. I was expecting (secretly hoping) them to say call back later, but they said come in when you’re ready. I turned around to look at my partner, took a deep breath and said we can go now.
We double checked everything, had some breakfast and set out. We drove past my parents house so I could give my Mum a hug. (I got back into the car with tears in my eyes.) We waved to my nan and grandad and then drove to my in laws to be dropped at the hospital.
I held my partners hand as we walked through the big sliding doors, into the lift and up to the maternity unit. A lady was waiting for us.
This next part reminded me of ‘The Three Bears.‘
We went into room 1, it was big with a birthing ball and lots of comfy chairs. The light in the bathroom was broken so we went onto room 2. Even bigger than the first with a large bath to the side. (This is perfect.) But It was decided this room would be too noisy. Onto room 3. Number 3 was very small with one little chair and a shared bathroom. Well of course we ended up in this room! The ‘tiny tiny’ room.
I took my shoes off and sat on the bed. (It was very hot.) I was strapped to a CTG machine so our heart rates could be monitored. Around an hour later the midwife came back to check the results. We both had fast heartbeats so the midwife asked a doctor to put the pessary in, it was decided I should also have a drip for dehydration. A consultant came to do this as the midwife couldn’t find a vein. (I was so scared that my legs began shaking. My hands were sweating.) It was in, it was bent but blood could be drawn so the drip was administered. (Blood sugar 5.6) Once removed we went for a walk. We walked all around the hospital grounds and sat on a bench outside.
I started to feel a little uncomfortable. We walked back to the room after about an hour, where I was monitored again. Your heart rate was still high and I was having contractions. By the evening the contractions were very close together. Sitting down was very uncomfortable. (Blood sugar 4.8)
My parents dropped us some food off. (Blood sugar 4.4 before eating) walking down the stairs the contractions were so painful they stopped me in my tracks a few times. I began pacing the room when we got back up. I was trying to breath heavy, by this point I wasn’t getting much of a gap between contractions. I asked the midwife if this was normal. She told me I’d be fine. I should get some rest and I would be monitored again in a few hours. (Blood sugar 5.7)
My partner hugged me and rubbed my back, we decided to try and get some sleep. He lay the chair down and it folded back up with him in it. I was in hysterics! We sat talking for a while until I heard snoring.
I was messing with the bed trying to get comfy when the midwife appeared to monitor me again. She said I was over stimulated which meant I wasn’t having much of a break between contractions. She went to get me some pain relief and I eventually dropped off.
In the morning I sat up to have a bit of cereal. (Blood sugar 4.3 before eating) The door knocked and the room filled with doctors asking questions about my diabetes. Our new midwife introduced herself and instantly sorted the cannula in my hand. She monitored me and called a doctor to check the results, both weren’t happy. They said they would monitor me again in a few hours but if it hadn’t changed I may need a c section
Around half hour passed and they were back already. I was loaded up with monitors, the midwife and Doctor still weren’t happy as your heart rate was dropping.
Only a moment later the room was flooded with people.
Your dad was given a hair net and scrubs to quickly get changed into. My bed was then wheeled off and I was told I was having an emergency c section. A lady was pushing the head of the bed and explaining what was going to happen. She squeezed my hand and told me the surgeons were brilliant and I was in the safest of hands. (All I could think was where’s my partner I can’t do this without him!)
I was wheeled into a room and placed onto another bed. A gentleman introduced himself and said he would be with me throught the surgery. He told me I was going to have an epidural so I couldn’t feel anything and then they would bring my partner in once I was ready to go.
I felt sick. The room seemed to be buzzing around me but I was so still.
I just wanted my baby to be ok. I was given a pillow to lean over so the epidural could be administered, on the third attempt I was told to arch my back more and push back onto the needle. It was done. My body was so full of adrenaline I hardly felt a thing. I was then lay down. A catheter was inserted and then a lady began pressing my feet to see if still had feeling.
My feet felt like hot pins and needles, my legs felt the same but I had feeling in my tummy. The bed was turned so my head was towards to floor and a few minutes later I was ready. My partner was bought into the room. I was so glad to see him. I had a drip in each hand and blue sheet up so we couldn’t see what was about to happen. More fluids were pumped into my hands. The sensation of hot pins and needles filled my body.
It was time to get her out. I could feel them tugging around inside my tummy. It’s the strangest feeling. My partner stroked my head and said ‘not long now.’ A lady popped her head around the curtain and said she’s already here.
We then saw you! You were put onto a table and checked over. Me and your Dad looked at each other, almost holding our breath waiting for your cry. It felt like a lifetime but in a few moments you were crying and your Dad went over to cut the cord.
I could see your little face. My entire being wanted to get off that table and hold you. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life. They passed you to Daddy while the placenta was vacuumed out and I was stitched up. (Only 5 minutes to get you out but 40 minutes to stitch me up.)
I was then taken to recovery after Dad. I didn’t know he was in the room so had a shock when he began speaking.
My entire body was shaking from the epidural.
My blood sugars were incredibly low. I was given 3 tubes of glucose gel to eat. I was monitored for a few hours. Eventually my body began to calm down. A bit of colour began to return and I was finally able to hold you, have skin to skin and try breastfeeding.
I looked down at you. You were so tiny. It was as if the entire world stood still at that moment. I had a new purpose, my purpose was you. You reminded me of all the goodness in the world, everything I’d ever wanted was in my arms. I was consumed with an overwhelming feeling of peace and love. Like everything made sense. I made a promise to you that I would protect you and love you with every ounce of me.
♡♡♡
You were born on the 2nd July at 12:40 weighing 8lb 4oz.
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Your sugars were tested every three hours over a 12 hour period. They were perfect every time. You had a hearing check and a head to toe check, everything came back normal. I was already so proud of you.
That night at around 10 your Dad had to leave. I was so scared to be alone, I didn’t want to break you. I got you out of your incubator and held you close to my chest. I looked out at the moon and felt so humbled, I lay holding you watching you for hours in complete silence. I carefully lay you back down and pulled the incubator close incase you needed me.
I gave myself glargine (long lasting basil insulin) before my partner left. I wish I hadn’t as throughout the night my blood sugar kept plummeting. I had two packets of dextrose tablets along with biscuits we had packed in my bag. I had to ask a nurse to change you as my hands were trembling and my body felt exhausted. (I felt embarrassed to ask almost like I’d failed because I couldn’t do it myself, silly I know.) By the time the morning got here I was finally stable.
I asked the nurse when I could go home, I felt I could better handle my blood sugar in my own environment. She told me they had to see me up and I needed to be able to go to the toilet without a catheter. I asked my partner to lower the bed right down so i could try walking to the chair. It was so painful, my stomach felt incredibly tight and heavy. A splash of blood fell to the floor, I was mortified, my partner cleaned it up quick and i sat in the chair. Later that day my catheter was removed and I painfully stumbled into the bathroom so a sample could be tested. Sitting down I almost winced.
We rang our parents to see if they wanted to come and meet their granddaughter. My in laws came first, the entire ward lit up when they came in, you could see the instant love they had for her. Next my parents came, my mom scooped her up and they both sat looking at their granddaughter overcome with love, they both held her tightly like they never wanted to let go.
Just as my parents were leaving I was told I was being discharged. My father in law picked my partner up to get his car while i waited with my parents. I was given blood clot needles and told to do them once every evening until they had all gone. (I thought great, another one to add! The needles were so thick they made my stomach churn, but nothing that I’m not used to now.)
The walk to the car was incredibly painful. I managed to lower myself into the back next to you, for the most important journey of our lives. Let me tell you those speed bumps were like torture.
We made it. Our little family was finally home.
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